Aoife Henry

Dear Body,

I am writing to you to apologize. We’ve been colleagues for some time now, but I can’t say that I ever tried to get to know you, to accept you as you are, to listen to what you have to say, or to grant you the appreciation you deserve for all you’ve done for me. And you’ve done all that with a tolerance I never held for you. You put up with my impatience, my extreme requests, my abuse, my lack of care for your needs. You held tight while I battered and bruised you, deprived you, berated you, and then you got to work repairing the damage when I was done.

I’m sorry I demanded so much of you without ever asking if you had capacity for it. I’m sorry I made you run on broken bones and torn ligaments. I’m sorry I made you fast when you were hungry. I’m sorry I dragged you out of bed to train when you were tired. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you when you succumbed to injury after injury, to sunburn, to weight loss, to extreme fatigue, to anxiety and mania. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you to know what you needed. I’m sorry I swatted your pleas away instead of listening to you and putting your needs before my wants. I’m sorry I wanted you to be different from who you are and tried to sculpt you into someone you didn’t want to be. I’m sorry I didn’t know that you could feel and suffer.

You are my shelter, my protection, my enabler to live and work and play and love with other peoples’ Bodies. You are my home. You are the only place I have to live. I’m sorry I hurt you, I thank you for your resilience, and I hope we can start anew.

x Aoife

Hi Aoife,

Thanks for getting in touch, it made me smile to hear from you. I appreciate your apologizing, and I can assure you that I had already forgiven you unconditionally. You are my life-long guest, I accept you as you are, eccentricities and all. Remember that I grew up with you. It was through my eyes and ears that you learned from the Outside World the behaviours that hurt us both. You didn’t know any better, and I will never judge you for that. Granted, I have been in pain and I am a bit battle-scarred, but you are making amends now and that is all that matters. Don’t fret about what you cannot change darling, let us just move forward as team. I’ll tell you what I need, and I trust you now to heed my requests. You ask me what you want, and I’ll tell you what I can do for you. We can make these decisions, on how to live, to work, to love, and to play, together. We may still have our disputes and our misunderstandings, but I trust that we both have our best interests at heart, and that we are both motivated to resolve these conflicts for eachother. You can always call me your home.

Love always,

Body