I wise therapist once told me that “your only job is to see the truth in this moment”. I think of this “truth” as reflecting your core needs and desires in that “moment”. Not only is it “your only job”, it is nobody’s job but yours. Nobody else has a unique view into your mind.…
The original version of this article was posted on a private blog shared with a dear friend, on April 23, 2023. I have revised it and reposted it here to capture a time in my life when I began to have an inkling of awareness regarding my “addiction to progress”. Eckhart Tolle said that “Awareness…
I’m reading Martha Beck’s book, The Way of Integrity, at the moment. In it, the author guarantees a method to find “a sense of purpose, emotional healing, and a life free of mental suffering”. Big promises indeed. As an academic in STEM, I have my qualms with the book – she refers vaguely to studies…
If you are one of my regular (three) readers, you’ll know that the topics of addiction, recovery, and more generally, compulsive behaviours we (I) adopt to control or distract from feelings we judge as painful, are recurring themes of my blog. I had an insight recently, regarding a run-of-the-mill compulsive behaviour I don’t consider problematic.…
We often have qualms about the people closest to us: our romantic partners, our best friends, our parents. We expect more from these people than we expect of others. We expect them to understand us, to tend to at least some of our needs, to absorb our flares of frustration. We hold them to a…
I have an irresistibly fluffy, but threateningly grumpy, roommate. She goes by Zora. On the outside, she appears to be an adorable kitty. But make no mistake. On the inside, she is a brusque elderly woman with no fucks left to give. She will use you for pets on her own terms, and make it…
There is a song by SVMP, Zebatin, and Fallen Oceans called “where do we go when we fall in love”. It is as pure a love song as one gets. Three verses, zero conflicts. It’s lovely. But that kind of love-song romance is not what I’m interested in unraveling here. I’m more interested in the…
downer drugs, upper drugs, alcohol porn, social media, online shopping excoriation disorder (a.k.a. skin-picking), eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder These are but a few of the ways we humans can (and do) compulsively and excessively consume substances or engage in behaviours to alleviate emotional pain for a blissful blink of an eye. I am human, and…
What if most of our lived experience was empty space? What if, in between the flashes and floods, the surges and sparks, of euphoria, of heartbreak, of rage, of terror, and of everything connecting those extremes, there was only stillness? What if we reserved that space to bring ourselves back home? Not to do, or…
Dear Body, I am writing to you to apologize. We’ve been colleagues for some time now, but I can’t say that I ever tried to get to know you, to accept you as you are, to listen to what you have to say, or to grant you the appreciation you deserve for all you’ve done…